C1 Day 14

It's been a hard few weeks. Not with the diet but with life changes. Unfortunately I can't say this move to NJ has been a happy one for me. I've been more down then I've been in a long time...but I will continue to try and make the best of it and try to keep a positive attitude. It's hard on days like today where I just see more and more how tough it is to find housing for a decent price. It'd be easy if we wanted a 1 bedroom apt, but with a daughter, a full house of STUFF, and inlaws that are going to visit for 3 months at a time...we need space. This is very frustrating for me. On top of that...I feel the job search is going to be very tough here. I've decided to open it up to include NYC which may mean commuting for 3 hours a day...not fun. I thought I could be happy as a stay at home mom...but it just isn't so. I love my daughter but I need my time. also, the weather probably doesn't help. Today it was 31 degrees here...but it felt MUCH colder than 31 degrees would feel in Colorado. And then of-course there's the fact that I don't know anyone. I know (and hope) that a year from now I will read this post and say "wow, was I over reacting or what...now it's so GREAT here", but for now I'm struggling through.

Now I know what you're wondering....what's this doing to your diet?! The truth is...maybe it's been helping it! It's the one thing I've kept in control. I'm back down to 174.5 which is good, so my first goal is to get to 170lbs or less by the end of Feb. I really think I can do it. I really want it! I've been cooking every day, eating more salad and fish, and sticking to my 2 yogurts a day. I did cheat tonight...I went to the movies and had some popcorn. But that became my dinner and I don't feel it will sabotage anything!

So the diet is good, but the move is hard. I know these scenarios may switch in the near future, so I will keep being prepared for whatever lies ahead! I have my cousin visiting me now, and I feel bad because I think my mood and attitude aren't making it a very fun time for her. I do feel down and I think it shows. I usually reach out to my friends and I haven't even felt like doing that. If anything I"m just driving my husband crazy! I know he keeps wondering if it was a mistake to take a job here, but I still think that in the long run it will be the right thing for us as a family. It will be something that helped where our future will take us...which I have a feeling will be outside of NJ. Anyway, for now I'll keep posting when I can...and like I said, working on having a better attitude.

Bye for now.