Totally off.....ouch!

Well, I went crazy this week. I ate WHATEVER I wanted which was lots of carbs and things that are not on the diet! But it's ok. I am back in Denver...arrived this morning, and I've decided that I will be re-starting tomorrow. I will start back on Cycle 1....I need to kick start my system and get rid of all these toxins (carbs and sugars) that are back on my body! so I will be enjoying today. As you can see...that shows that I haven't gotten rid of all my bad eating habits, but I'm not giving up. I still love the diet and will make myself focus again. I will weigh in tomorrow to see how bad I am...I'm guessing I'm up 5 lbs.

I'm also feeling pretty depressed this morning. I'm not sure what it is. Leaving TX? Not sleeping enough? Knowing that my move to NJ is now around the corner? Being "homeless"? Not sure. I do spend alot of time thinking about the next house I want...and the sad thing is that I don't think we'll be able to afford it in NJ. I'm not working right now so we'll be on 1 salary...not sure how long it'll take me to get a job, and really we only want to get a hosue for 1 salary...we want to live within our means and not put ourselves in a bad position. But it makes me sad. If we stayed in CO we could now afford a larger house...maybe 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. I would like that in case we have another baby and then if my in laws come they stay for about 3 months at a time...so it would be comfortable. My husband would also like an office area and I'd like a space for my sewing machines and crafts etc. We'll see. I think this is part of what has me down though. I spend a lot of time looking at houses and know that we won't be able to afford much, and maybe it doesn't even make sense to buy. Anyway, I need to let that go because I try to remember that "things" aren't what makes us happy really. So much is internal.

Ok, back to the diet. Tomorrow I plan to get very strict again. My birthday is Dec 19th, that's why it's good timing...I will be in cycle 2 by the time it comes around. Like I said I just need to kick start again. I think I will also start documenting some plans for myself so I don't downward spiral.

That's it for now. Like I said, I'll update my weight starting tomorrow.